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Vangaveltur ....   þriðjudagur, mars 15, 2005   DIng dong þriðjudagur, mars 15, 2005 sunnudagur, júní 13, 2004   Picture sent by: ég Powered by Hex BlogPhone sunnudagur, júní 13, 2004 miðvikudagur, maí 05, 2004   Picture sent by: ég Powered by Hex BlogPhone miðvikudagur, maí 05, 2004   Símblogg prufa This is a test message áðéíóúþæö ÁÐÉÍÓÚÞÆÖ miðvikudagur, maí 05, 2004 sunnudagur, október 12, 2003   The Famous Shit List The Clean Shit The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper. The Wet Shit You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful shit stains. The Second Wave Shit This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more. The Ghost Shit The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl. The Brain Hemorrhage Shit Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke. The Corn Shit No explanation necessary. The Lincoln Log Shit The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush. The Notorious Drinker Shit The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush. The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting. The Wet Cheeks Shit Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water. The Liquid Shit That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute. The Mexican Food Shit A class all on its own. The Crowd Pleaser This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing. The Mood Enhancer This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again. The Ritual This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper. The Guinness Book Of Records Shit A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations. The Aftershock Shit This shit has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected. The "Honeymoon's Over" Shit This is any shit created in the presence of another person. The Groaner A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance. The Floater Characterized by its float ability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushing's. The Ranger A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper. The Phantom Shit This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there. The Peek-A-Boo Shit Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control. The Bombshell A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities. The Snake Charmer A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless. The Olympic Shit This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit. The Back-To-Nature Shit This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car. The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit. Premeditated Shit Laxative induced. Doesn't count. Shitzophrenia Fear of shitting - can be fatal! Energizer Vs. Duracell Shit Also known as a "Still Going" shit. The Power Dump Shit The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done. The Liquid Plumber Shit This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Shit.) The Spinal Tap Shit The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways. The "I Think I'm Giving Birth Through My Asshole" Shit Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards. The Porridge Shit The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless. The "I'm Going To Chew My Food Better" Shit When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning. The "I Think I'm Turning Into A Bunny" Shit When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water. The "What The Hell Died In Here?" Shit Also sometimes referred to as "The Toxic Dump". Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air. The "I Just Know There's A Turd Still Dangling There" Shit Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place sunnudagur, október 12, 2003 föstudagur, september 26, 2003   Hex - prufa föstudagur, september 26, 2003 miðvikudagur, júní 18, 2003   Hér er ég og get ekki annað ! miðvikudagur, júní 18, 2003 föstudagur, júní 13, 2003   Leti leti leti ! Some great quotes from Robert Heinlein The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. Anyone can see a forest fire. Skill lies in sniffing the first smoke. Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things. It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired. Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it's more sanitary. Avoid making irrevocable decisions when tired or hungry. Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed. A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a null word. If you happen to be one of the fretful minority who can do creative work, never force an idea; you'll abort it if you do. Be patient and you'll give birth to it when the time is ripe. Learn to wait. Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. Most people can't think, most of the remainder won't think, the small fraction who do think mostly can't do it very well. The extremely tiny fraction who think regularly, accurately, creatively, and without self-delusion- in the long run, these are the only people who count. Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny. Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. Beauty is not diminished by being shared. A touchstone to determine the actual worth of an "intellectual"- find out how he feels about astrology. Obscurity is the refuge of incompetence. Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow if tomorrow might improve the odds. To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods. The greatest productive force is human selfishness. Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again. Specialization is for insects. Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded- here and there, now and then- are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty. This is known as "bad luck." If "everybody knows" such-and-such, then it ain't so, by at least ten thousand to one. If you pray hard enough, water will run uphill. How hard? Why, hard enough to make water run uphill, of course! Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. Being right too soon is socially unacceptable. Man can be chained, but he cannot be domesticated. The three-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. ...brainpower is the scarcest commodity and the only one of real value. In a society in which it is a moral offense to be different from your neighbor your only escape is never to let them find out. No intelligent man has any respect for an unjust law. There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him. A monarch's neck should always have a noose around it -- it keeps him upright. The hardest part of gaining any new idea is sweeping out the false idea occupying that niche. The supreme irony of life is that no one gets out of it alive. föstudagur, júní 13, 2003